I've been doing some research for my new career as a dog rapper. I haven't been able to master some of the beat box techniques yet, but I've got some kick ass lyrics. (Oops, Mum says I shouldn't say words like that, but I think you've got to sound tough if you're going to be a rapper dog). It looks like there isn't a whole lot of competition.
Thanks for the suggestions for my rapper name. Here's what we have so far:
Mum's going away this weekend, to the place where Jack and the Tall Guy live. She's going to be learning some super special techniques to make peoples' bad backs and hurting necks go away.
So I'm a bit blue today. But later on, Aunty Julie is coming over to take me for a walk and give me my dinner, and then I'm going on my own mini vacation to Cornville! Okay, so I don't think Cornville is as fancy as the place my mum's going, but I'll get to stay with my friends Babushka and Toma, and their mum and dad. And they have grass!
Dad is going to be working, but he promised to come and get me on Sunday. I hope he doesn't forget.
I had a special day out with Mum and Dad this week. They took me to one of the creeks we hadn't been to yet this year. It's a bit of a drive, and a bit of a hike, too, to get to the good place. We took a picnic and found the perfect spot under the trees, where the creek is wide and clear and the swimming good.
We had the place to ourselves, and knowing how much Mum and Dad like to be on their own, I thought I'd help out and make sure no one else came down to our spot. What a great idea, I hear you say, What a thoughtful pup!Ruby's Mum and Dad must be so proud of her! You see, I knew you'd all agree with me.
Well, here's what happened. I discovered Mr Stinky was taking a nap in the bushes, so I went down there and roused him out of his slumbers. Quick as a flash, he turned his butt on me and shared some of that amazing perfume - the stuff peoples don't seem to like at all. I rushed back over to Mum and Dad to tell them about it and show them what a thoughtful girl I am. You're with me on this one, right? I know! It was a pure stroke of genius and they would shower me with love and affection.
Good and stinky. That should do the trick!
Now, brace yourselves for what happened next, because there was suddenly a very strange turn of events. Were they happy? No! Were they grateful? Not one bit! In fact, everything went downhill from here.There was a lot of yelling. Mum and Dad ran as far away from me as they could. They actually RAN AWAY from me! Next, they ordered me into the creek and made me stay there for hours and hours (note from Mum - it was only about 30 minutes). There was no petting, no heaping of praise upon me, and worst of all, absolutely no treats. We didn't even eat the picnic!
Uh, no one wants to come and play with me?
Instead of staying at our wonderful picnic spot, we all marched back to the car, where Mum proceeded to wrap me in the picnic blanket and told me I wasn't to move for the whole ride home. The rest of the day is a blur of being hosed down and washed with various concoctions until Dad finally declared that I was okay to come back in the house.
I don't know. You try to be a good pup with your peoples' best interests at heart and look what happens. Think I'm gonna move to Texas!